His favorite place was the bathroom, lecturing me, degrading me for hours.
Id be stuck in the bathroom all night long, terrified, wanting to get out. But I
could not escape, I am so small. My brain would get numb, I would think, "Hes
right, somethings wrong with me," and Id say, "Im sorry."
As soon as I agreed with him, hed be so nice. The honeymoon time. And
then it would start over. I got hurt so many times.
gave me a card with the number of a shelter. I was still married to him when I first
knocked on that shelter door. I didnt know what was going on, I didnt
have anyone in this country. I needed help but I was so scared to tell anyone.
So I went to ask what I should do. I thought it was only me, it only happened in my
house. At the shelter they told me it wasnt my fault, and they told me about the
cycle of violence. The pattern was exactly the same for me. And then in a group session,
each woman there was talking the same story, the same situations, the same pain. I
kept thinking, theyre talking about him. I wasnt alone any longer. I
felt so alone for so long when I was with my husband. Its ironic, now that Im
alone for the first time alone in my life, I dont feel lonely at all. It feels
good to be independent.